Episode #99 On Generosity

When I first became a mother it felt like all my capacity to think about, or do, anything other than mothering drained away. I forgot how to have conversations. I answered questions but couldn’t think of any to ask. I saw people but couldn’t remember how to be with them. I knew the world was happening outside of my bubble but I forgot how to show I cared.

I wasn’t depressed, I was depleted. This is a concept I learned from Amy Taylor-Kabbaz during my Matrescence training with her. I loved the early years and still find myself mourning the passing of that sweet time with my babies.

Something from that time which stands out to me was that I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t even really know I needed help or what kind of help would have helped! I felt guilty that I wasn’t really able to be there for others either.

It seemed to me that I would always be in a kind of survival mode limbo. I dreamed of one day having more capacity for things other than motherhood again.

So this year, instead of choosing a theme word for the year in the usual way, I decided to choose a concept to explore. Generosity.

I want to work through all the aspects of this word.

What does it mean to be generous? Where is the line between generosity and a lack of boundaries? What does it take to receive generosity? Who gets to be generous? How can I be more generous than feels comfortable? What even is generosity, really? How does it apply to business, relationships, myself? What else does it relate to and impact?

I feel there is so much to learn and explore about this word.